I have not been able to post to this blog because I’ve been overwhelmed by what’s been dished onto my plate in the past six weeks. Last year I wrote two cookbooks in addition to sustaining an unpleasant service job and growing my charity work feeding schoolchildren, monks and nuns in Nepal. As the year came to its close, I had to rush around to find a new place to live and remember to send my traditional homemade food gifts out for holiday cheer plus cook a holiday meal for 15.
Now I have to rush to fix the place I found to live (ground the wiring, remove rusted water pipes), pack up to move next week and edit the manuscripts of both books because one just came and the other is on the way. All this in addition to the ongoing day job and managing my precious Veggiyana food work in Nepal and attending my Dharma group. The pressure's left me speechless.
But I can say as we approach the day of Epiphany that the Dharma is a gift that keeps on giving. Six weeks ago when I felt totally crushed, my teacher's precious young Dharma heir, Tulku Damcho, told me to do Vajrasattva, the 100-syllable purification mantra, so I started saying it, not only in front of my shrine but as I was making coffee and driving to work and pushing the cart through the crowded supermarket aisles. I didn't care if people thought my babbling was lunacy. I thought of this communing with Vajrasattva in public as my equivalent of all the surrounding conversations on Iphones. Desperation pushes you through the crowded aisles of Samsara to any checkout you can find.
I am now in a crush of circumstances. Yet every time I want to scream or snarl or try to complain to myself, resenting how this is way too much for one senior being, an energy wells up like wind and blows that negativity away, leaving me in a clear, light space. I think of it as the cosmic jaws of life because the pile-up is not crushing me, at least not yet. So many people have been voluntarily chipping in to chip away at my stress--even the Chinese woman at the dry cleaner today chose to launch a very friendly conversation with me--that everything is going amazing right and speedily to boot. The must-dos are untangling so quickly and flowing so smoothly straight ahead, I am starting to feel freed. The plumber came early, the contractor moved my job to the front of the line, my IT friend called the day he got back from a month's vacation to offer his services and somebody I work with spontaneously volunteered his truck and crew to move me for nothing. I am so continually astonished, I am continually dedicating the merit. Thank you, Vajrasattva, and a Happy New Year to you too!
~Sandy Garson"Wordsmithing to attest how the Dharma saved me from myself!"
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